i miss more than one thing, more than one place, more than one person and more that one life. my capacity to miss sometimes amazes me. i miss you. i miss me too.

my mother and uncle asked me to stop smoking for the sake of my children. i asked them, quite logically if i may say so, "what children?" they were cross. sometimes i wonder if i am the only sane person living in this entire world. probably yes.
sometimes i really feel like taking them apart to see what makes them tick. but i'd do that only if i could put them back together. even though they are very clueless.

i have become alarmingly good at lying. not even white lies. great big hulking jet black hairy ones too. and it feels so good. particularly when i convince myself to believe one or two of them.
even my normally clueless progenitor couldn't help remarking on that when he was subjected to hearing my side of a phone conversation this morning on the way to work. his work. i was cadging a lift so i could go and watch a movie. and on the way concocted 5 different lies for different categories of people. it gave me such a high.
and what's even more scary is that it's so much more of a delight when it's a lie without a reason. when it's 'just a lie'.
god save my soul, or whatever has been left shriveling inside.
but for the time being, i want to give truth a miss. it's nicer.