confusion reigns supreme.
in every aspect of life where i thought that some sort of breakthrough has been achieved, things have slowed down frustratingly.
now adeela. i've been a bit away from all other people in my life in this, seeking to pull it off. i needed this weekend to figure out how absent i have been from friends. some of them good ones.
but this is a very crucial phase and we have almost put our friendships through endurance tests the last time we tried to be inclusive. we are all reluctant. we are all reacting, we are all resistant. yet there is no other way.
and at times i feel like asking for some sort of divine intervention. i can feel the ostrich instinct kicking in, i just want to bury my head in sand till this blows over. and everything else too.

god, stop being an asshole, is the prayer i sent up. not the most effective or positive one, on hindsight.