life feels like doing a jigsaw puzzle in a room with a strong draft of wind that keeps sweeping the pieces away. just as i turn to one end of it and move away, i find the other pieces jumbled up. life getting in the way of life.
i have been getting the feeling of being absent from my own life for some time. everything good, surrounded my people i love without condition, secure in being unconditionally loved back. yet, being around them, being in the midst of them, i feel away. it takes a great effort to unwind and be there and then i find i've forgotten to tell them how much i love them. i would describe it as feeling like an outsider to your own life, except that's too ridiculous.
i guess just another manifestation of all the chaos.
i have been trying too hard to be normal, just like everyone else. beats me how they manage to get there.