life on the lazy lane

i spent a long, lazy morning that turned into an early afternoon, lolling on my bed with my best friend, with calvin and hobbes and peanuts. the sun was streaming in ever so nicely. a bright yellow kind of day. we went to eat biriyani afterward in their shiny new car, met smiling cops and got accommodating parking attendants who collectively left us reeling with all that positive vibe. that was right before we hit the dirt with the pathetic excuse for a book fair that we've got going. but everything in life can't be perfect. and of course m tried a bit of his karaoke along with i shot the sheriff on chingrihata. i had a good day.

it's important to remember this.

exactly ten days back something we'd discussed years ago came back in my head very unbidden and unconsciously. we had been discussing deaths and ends and i think i told somebody about two things that i'd like to see accomplished before i can call it quits without feeling guilty. then ten days back i suddenly remembered those were done. i was disturbed. today i felt differently about it.

i also had a very emotionally charged discussion with someone i hold very close to my heart. except, try as i might, i could not do her the courtesy of reciprocating, i had to bottle up. i had asked her before if not talking would ever come between us. she said it would not. i tried today, i couldn't. but i tried. sometimes it's enough to just be, sometimes it's not. and i dread those days when it no longer would be. enough.

but this is turning out more maudlin than i thought it would be. not a fitting piece for a yellow day, a yellow month. i got to see a lot of people this month, got to see the sibling married, will get to see the ear-waggler married (toad permitting) three weeks down the line, got nice new brown kitten heel shoes, new clothes, new necklaces - three of them, new books, and excuse to buy more. and i'm planning on doing something i shouldn't be doing, but i won't tell you what. it's delighfully wicked. actually make that two.