i don't want no respect

There are women who age gracefully and there are women who spend their lives trying to look ten year’s younger and end up in the opposite direction. Well I thought I didn’t have to think about which group I fall in, at least not yet. I try not to gouge out the eyes of the odd person who calls me baby or baba. And people certainly do not score points with me for telling me I look some odd years younger than what they think would be a flattering figure for my age. I’m happy enough being me. Occasionally I regress a bit, but that’s allowed. However I admit my parents got a bit shortchanged when it came to the intellectual capacity of their youngest offspring. My mental growth is a bit stunted. What to do? I am like that only.

OK, so the brother was here and I reveled in my younger sibling role, got a lifetime's supply of fantasy volumes, stole a plastic glow-in-the-dark sword from a child's birthday booty and was feeling what the Cow would say "securely ensconced" in my peter pan complex. Then, THEN, on my way to work the taxi driver called me auntie. Bruised and battered in spirit, I smoked my last YSL menthol from the secret stash, had a cup of extra strong coffee and dragged myself upstairs to key in a short, pithy email describing my trauma to people who should rightfully care about me. Its only fair - if I care about you, you care about me. Except life doesn't follow such simple rules. The buggers started a laughathon and my plea for psychological support was met with helpful and kind responses in the line of
"Aunty Aunty... as in tht Hair Dye ad...."
"you have now officially become part of the generation that doesn't understand people like you"
"The minute I read that the taxiwallah called Rhea aunty, I laughed out so loud one of my colleagues had to apologise to someone he was talking to on the phone. Ooof...Rhea Aunty"

I preferred to make a dignified retort. So I asked them to piss off. Needless to say, this also fell on deaf ears. I was also told that it’s been a long time since I was last insulted, not counting the beggar, and it was high time I had another one coming. Well thank you very much. More hilarity and what certain people think is a dazzling display of wits followed. AND THEY STARTED PICKING ON MY NEW HAIRSTYLE!!!
"Your haircut made respect emanate out of the taxi driver, which is why he called you aunty. You're still a goddess to us in mind and spirit, irrespective of haircuts"
"Yes, Rhea, you are my favorite goddess Aunty. In mind, spirit and haircut, you are the auntiest of all aunties. The epitome of aunty-hood is found in you, and your haircut. When I think of women in ill-fighting nighties, cooking mangsho and bhaat for Laltu (Shona) and Bulu (AKA bablu), I see you."

I decided that maybe I wasn’t being able to put across how traumatised I was. Still expecting the better of people (I AM dumb. I said so!) I laid bare my tortured soul. ( I also told them they are not going to be invited for my bablu’s onnoprashon). I conveyed to the best of my abilities that I was now being reduced to a quivering bundle of nerves now and how I can't stop looking at mirrors. What next? anondobajar alliance, digha for honeymoon, sea-bathing in salwars, and of course the ill-fitting nightie with a dupatta across if someone comes to the house, standing guard in front of nursery schools and tutorials, pujor bajar at hatibagan, a little flirting with pintu the cablewallah, dokkhineshwar every now and then and city centre for a special treat... it’s all flashing in front of my eyes.
I was told i'm funny. Funny? Man, I’m bleeding here. I was also told not to forget to include in my vision of future "getting the parar women together for pujo celebration and group meals, taking overt interest in the young women in the neighborhood ("Sonali, Tor ar amar boyesh beshi difference nei. Tuir amar kotha shon, Raju toke bhalo bashe na. tor mon ekhon poda-sona e thaka uchit"), getting all excited about watching a hindi cinema in the theater ("oof, Abhishek Bacchan ki acting korlo. Bablu, tor babar hairstyle ek-dom Abhishek-er moto, na?")"

Ogo amar ki hobe go?