i hate me

yes, i've confirmed my worst fears. i'm a codependent personality, except i tend to depend on more than one person to help me get through my pathetic life. i love the idea of me-time, i need generous doeses of it, i can hold hour-long fanatic conversations about 'space' that leave the listener dazed and nauseous, but today i throw everything out of the window.
the day went beautifully slow and relaxed, too relaxed, so i thought it would be a great idea to go out, except there's no-one to hang out with. people have a) work, b) unexpected guests dropping in, c) expected guests dropping in, d) parents, e) siblings, f) spouses ( each one has one, so far no-one i know flaunts multiple spouses, so don't get confused), g) girlfriends, h) boyfriends, i) a disturbing resistance towards spontaneity
i ymed, msned, got bored , wandered off , logged back in, wandered off second time, turned towards the tv, couldn't find remote, took blogthings ( i am a chocolate martini), logged back a third time in, logged out again, went and took a shower, changed bed-linen, loaded a washer and it all took fifteen minutes! what happened to the good old days when moving out of a chair could occupy ten happy minutes and some more?
someone DO something to change my life drastically. i can't take me anymore.