Not all true, is it?

The following is a part of communication I recieved from a friend of mine.

Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads:

40-ish ........................ 49.
Adventurous .............. Slept with everyone.
Athletic ...................... No breasts
Average looking .......... Moooo.
Beautiful .................... Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure ... On medication.
Feminist .................... Fat
Free spirit .................. Junkie
Friendship first .......... Former slut.
New-Age ................... Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-Fashioned ........... No BJs.
Open-minded ............. Desperate
Outgoing ................... Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional .............. Bitch
Voluptuous ................ Very Fat
Hugh frame ............... Hugely Fat
Wants soul mate ....... Stalker.



I forwarded it to the usual people. The responses from the women were almost identical. I guess I's mail sums it best "jeeez...not all true.. is it?"
The men. Less said the better. Mycotoxin had a few add-ons to prescribe. His corrected version stands at:


Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads:
>>
>>40-ish ........................ 49. a healthy 55 more likely
>>Adventurous .............. Slept with everyone. why the past tense?
Definition of a slut - sleeps with everyone at the party
Definition of a bitch - sleeps with everyone at the party except you
>>Athletic ...................... No breasts. but the butt will more than make up for it
>>Average looking .......... Moooo. yep.
>>Beautiful .................... Pathological liar.
>>Emotionally Secure ... On medication. or dysfunctionally multiorgasmic.
>>Feminist .................... Fat. and hairy.
>>Free spirit .................. Junkie
>>Friendship first .......... Former slut.
>>New-Age ................... Body hair in the wrong places.
>>Old-Fashioned ........... No BJs. or much else.
>>Open-minded ............. Desperate. and everything else.
>>Outgoing ................... Loud and Embarrassing. and will puke on you at parties.
>>Professional .............. Bitch. or too expensive on an hourly basis
>>Voluptuous ................ Very Fat. but jiggly.
>>Hugh frame ............... Hugely Fat. one roll and it's all over
>>Wants soul mate ....... Stalker. and if you're reading this far, she's close to finding one.

The temptation to blog an omnibus on respect towards womenkind did fleet through my mind. But the dysfunctional idiots already live that lesson out in their lives , thereby robbing me of the right to preach. Not that I need a "reason" to jump up on the pulpit. I would kill 6 people anyway, if i didn't find it hilarious.